just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
