its not stalking. its research.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
