mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
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