if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
