I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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