Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
