I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
only you would photoshop your dick
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
