At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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