you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
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