My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Randomize
