I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
