No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Maybe he injected his testicle?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
