the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
