me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
