Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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