Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
