this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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