I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
