I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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