You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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