Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
