I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize