I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
