I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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