i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
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I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
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I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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