hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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