i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize