Don't you send me to vm
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
