11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
