you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
