i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
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you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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