She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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