My friends, they love my intelligence
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
