I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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