I'm drive I can fine osifer
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
