Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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