Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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