I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I have post one night stand depression
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
