You work out of a Hotel?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
