So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
