Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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