yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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