Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry rwt56 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(719): View more from Colorado

I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work

Fav 14 3905 1148
share tweet
(636): View more from Missouri

So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.

Fav 38 2951 6672
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(469): View more from Texas

I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.

Fav 33 6397 1367
share tweet
(450): View more from Quebec

I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...

(450): View more from Quebec

On that note, do I have a rule?

Fav 15 5120 1391
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant

Fav 3 3781 1023
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.

(703): View more from Virginia

So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...

Fav 9 4212 1392
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.

Fav 4 753 1901
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(604): View more from British Columbia

Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"

Fav 3 800 474
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(630): View more from Illinois

For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.

Fav 3 83 47
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT