so that wasnt chicken after all
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
