you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need to calm my uterus...
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