We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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