I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
