if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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