the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
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only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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