I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
