what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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