Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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