i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
