Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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