what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
